searching for something...

There's this thing that happens to me periodically- I remember something that I wrote years ago- like, 25 or even more years ago.
I decide I NEED to read it because I have a sense that it was good, or special, or even that it was a just thought that I keep coming back to.

I can picture exactly where I last saw it. Sometimes, the last 3 places that I saw it, but that's of no use really.

No use to me at all, because  its actually been 5 or 10 or even 15 years since I last saw it, and the cabinet it was in has long been thrown out, or the folder that it was in is long lost, or I don't even live in that house anymore...

But occasionally- I find it. Like tonight.

And then finally the thought- was it actually good enough to warrant the 5 or six hours of wracking my brain and wrecking the house to dig it up? 

At least, there's the small satisfaction that I actually found the damn thing...

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